When does the fun part start? More than any other question I received over a few days with a recent cohort of executive directors, this was the question that grabbed everyone’s attention. Everyone wanted to know. Everyone needed to know. I could see it in all the faces on my screen – I could feel it in the urgency of their voices. I knew that question all too well as I have asked it so many times in my career. And because I had found my answers enough times, I was in a position at that moment (and all the other times I have heard this question) to hold some space for the answers to unfold. I say unfold because it is a journey for each person to find both the grace and energy that comes with an answer – I knew that myself, and I knew that not everyone is so lucky.
But at this moment, as I stared back at these phenomenal new leaders with all my hopes for them, I also knew that any truth I had to offer would likely feel unsatisfying at least initially because they wanted an answer – perhaps even a literal moment on the calendar like somehow at 1 year, 3 months, and 4 hours this work was finally going to match all the excitement they felt when they accepted their position. And, not only was there not one answer or a specific date and time, I knew then and now, even as a wave of sadness took hold, that if they were left alone to figure it out without support or were unable to locate the answer, then they would not last in their roles. So I leaned in, too.
Let’s face it, the last four years have forever changed not just how the work gets done but our expectations of work itself. Countless published articles are trying to tell the story of where we are now – a story of staff shortages, broken business models due to government cuts or lack of payment, declining philanthropy and a general lack of unrestricted cash, high board turnover, loss of volunteers, and high demands by staff for competitive compensation and ultimate working flexibility. Not that the staff piece is bad, to be clear, but the stress and strain for leaders who are pushed and pulled and expected to make impossible decisions is real every single day now. The need to find our joy and stay in the work on any given Tuesday is not just real – it is essential to our missions.
I wonder, as I think about each of you reading this, how you are doing. Truly. How are you finding the fun and hanging onto the joy? I sure don’t have all the answers but just as I did at that moment with the group of executives, I am doing now because we could all use some support to find the fun and joy in this work – regardless of title or tenure in our organizations. So engage some board member allies, ask a friend, drink a few cups of coffee with another executive, hire a coach or a mentor, and consider a few of these ideas together. Do whatever it takes that works best for each of you to tap into the fun and joy that got you into this work in the first place.
The following ideas are not perfect and there is no one way, but maybe these ideas will spur other ideas to help you find your answers so you can stay longer and enjoy the work more.
- Ask, answer, and act on the question: How often do I have to touch the mission to feel meaning and joy in my work? What I love about this question is the remarkably different answers it evokes. First, each person has their own idea of what it means to “touch” the mission including delivering the service to watching it in action. For someone who rose up inside an organization and has seen the mission from a variety of perspectives, the answer is generally quite different than for someone who joined the mission in a singular position. Then the issue of timing comes in, and I have heard answers that range from “every day” to “once a week” to longer stints but also answers that are more about depth of connection than about time. The point here is that the gift of nonprofit life is that it is never “just a job” – it is a calling, an act of service, a commitment to something larger than any one of us, and because of that the mission acts as a touchstone with power beyond measure. Being with it or near it or doing it reminds each of us in our own way of our why. Why we do the hard things, why we keep going when the spark and joy are beyond our grasp. For many, committing or recommitting to touching the mission more often can be the spark we need.
- Ask, answer, and act on the question: What is the work? I remember far too many times in my early days as CEO going to work all day and then going home “to do the work.” For obvious reasons, this 10-14 hour day was destined to suck all the joy out of the work, but thankfully I had someone who helped me reframe what was happening and it changed how I thought of my time and therefore my resentment of it (even if it didn’t always change the hours). I began to ask myself every day – what is the work today? This simple question was both permission to not just show up to the urgency of the day but a reminder of the strategic and essential priorities. It reminded me that a day spent listening to the staff about their work is just as important if not more important than anything else I had thought of as “the work” on my to-do list. The act of asking the question means an opportunity for choice, an opportunity to reframe, an opportunity to own the answer rather than just react to the day, an opportunity to give myself grace for what is on the list and what comes off the list in a day, a week, a month, a year. How are you defining the work?
- Focus on what matters the most. This is a variation of 1 and 2 but with an understanding that culture eats strategy for lunch and if we don’t make space for the big ideas, the strategic initiatives, the areas that truly move mission forward, and we only let the day-to-day drive us, many of us will not be having any fun at all. So, this is a directive to hold the strategic space as sacred. This is an invitation to ask and engage in the big questions without the need necessarily to have the answer. This is the space of generative thinking, of big ideas that matter now or will matter later. For some of us, we can do the daily stuff if we know it adds up to the big stuff. For others of us, the big stuff is where joy lives every day. Make room. Hold the time. Make the space. Dream. Explore. Maybe a lot, maybe just when you can’t remember the last time you did it.
- Prioritize the connective tissue. I have had some very odd jobs in my life as have many of us, and I have had some jobs I would call my career. In each of them, I have thought I could do just about anything if I respect and trust the people I am doing it with – extra points if we could laugh together. Pandemic space did its best to suck all the fun out of our connection in the work. We lost fun traditions, we lost watercooler connections, and even the way we meet as teams or one-on-one is just – different. If you are still in the same job, you likely notice this difference more than your colleagues who joined you in the last few years. Their normal and yours are not the same. The only way forward now is through it, so for some of us the joy can be found in making new traditions in this new environment by focusing on the connections that hold us together. I think of this as the cartilage of the team. This is the space now where we can lean into our values to create meaningful spaces for fun. It is worth the time because team culture matters – shared stories, traditions, and experiences matter. We often say at Foraker that we move at the speed of trust, and trust is built by showing up to each other as our whole selves. For some of us, this is where joy lives or where it is missing – it is in the connective tissue. And just like in our bodies, we have to take care and pay attention, or it could just grind away. Sure, you likely have to adapt how you used to do it or how you get to do it now in an in-person, remote, and hybrid team, but all the time you take carries you that much further through the hardest parts.
- Rest – restore – renew. This is last on my list not because it is least important but because it often feels like a last resort option. My hope for all of us is that we can reverse that trend and make it instead a norm in our nonprofit culture. Rest – restore – review can look like something formal such as a sabbatical or it can just be an hour on a random Thursday when the sun is out and you simply prioritize yourself for the sake of you. Truth be told, this is something I am not always great at, but I am getting better over time by admiring it in others and taking small steps here and there. Still, others I know, wow they are good at this in big and small ways. And when I say that, I am not really thinking about their ability to take a vacation or to step away, but more about the mindset that accompanies those actions that have nothing to do with guilt, worry, or second-guessing. The time is not just for their body, it is for their brain. It is not just about stepping away from the work but it is about renewing the spirit. Again, I have seen people do this in an hour of thoughtfulness and in extended planned time away. The result is the same – a joy and appreciation of the work in front of them when they return. Maybe this is what you are looking for, too?
As I think about how all five of these ways can lead us to more fun and more joy, I see a common denominator – choice. Choosing to ask a question in a new way, choosing to dive in, choosing to refocus, choosing to rest. In all of the ways, the feeling and exercising of choice make all the difference. One of my favorite lessons in our Catalyst for Nonprofit Excellence program is all about choice. The choice of getting to do the work rather than having to do the work. You are doing the work regardless, but even shifting one word in how we show up to that task or that day can shift the whole experience. Truly. Try it. This “have to/get to” reframe can be used in countless moments and each time it reminds us of the freedom to choose how we will show up to the hardest and most joyless days and turn them into the same days that make us feel like we can fly.
Let’s find some more fun together and fly.
-Laurie
